Accessories in clothing

24. Accessories in clothing.

I cannot kill it. I just cannot. Why? I feel better after killing beasts so why can’t I kill it? I don’t understand. I suppose I will not kill it then. Yes, it isn’t too complicated. I just won’t kill it right?

I pick the fur ball of the ground and stroke it gently; it is so warm and smooth. I see some liquid drops drop down on the ball of fur. It isn’t raining though.

I touch my cheeks and notice that they are wet as well. Interesting.

Not that important though. I put the fur back down on the ground and start eating the flying creature, I carve out pieces of meat from the part where I have pulled out the feathers and start chewing on a big chunk.

The taste is amazing, it is smooth and there is no bad smell or after taste. It is fatty even though it is quite tough to eat. There is none of those weird pieces that you can’t chew through and you just have to swallow which makes me so happy.

While I am eating, I sit down on top of the flying creature and start making the tips of the feather’s sharper with my knife.

It is a tough to do it but with enough strength I manage to get piece of the feather out and if I just do this enough it will be so sharp in no time.

It will take a lot of time to get all the feathers sharpened that I can carry with me so I will probably stay here for a while. I might as well though since I have food, water and kind of a place to sleep?

I keep sharpening the feathers while watching the ball of fur. It is a mystery why this thing is so attached to me and why I cannot kill it myself.

I should probably think this through. What if there comes a dangerous beast in the future that wants to kill me, but I am unable to kill it myself? I would just die, or I would have to run away again. I don’t like running away. That too, why did I run away before? I was so dead set on not running away no matter what but then there comes a big monster and I run away as fast as I could.

Why am I making decisions that go against my other decisions? I don’t understand it. I wanted to fight to the death no matter what happens so I could just kill the beasts that come. So, I wouldn’t have to run away.

So, I wouldn’t have to be scared anymore. Scared? Am I scared to be scared? T-the times I spent at my home was filled with being terrified of getting hurt.

I don’t want to feel that again. So, when the beasts made me run away, I remembered that feeling and wanted to fight against it?

But why did I ended running away from the big one? Because I would have died if I didn’t? Because dying makes me feel more fear than being scared does?

I am scared to die even though I told myself that I would rather die than feel scared?

But anything here could kill me though. Even eating the raw meat could kill me, why am I not afraid of that? Because I have no other choice? Because it doesn’t seem painful?

I don’t understand.

I have a big pile of sharpened feathers though. I wonder if I could attach them to my clothes. These clothes are so handy usually so I should be able to, right? I stick one of the feathers into my clothes and it is unusually tough. I wiggle it back and forth and it does start going deeper into slowly as I look at it closely. There are like small strings in my clothes or they are made of small strings so the feathers can go between them, right?

Ahh. I stabbed myself with the feather. I think my hand started bleeding a little bit. But this is good, it goes through. I just need to put the sideways, so they don’t stab me, right?

I just realized that the fur ball can’t hear my thoughts, so it doesn’t really hear me saying right to it.

That is sad.

Should I start talking to it with my voice?

I don’t feel like doing that.

Maybe later.

I start putting the sharpened feathers in my clothes one by one and while I do that, I eat a bit more of the delicious meat.

Just as I finish placing them all in my clothes, I hear a sound of someone growling at me nearby. I quickly glance around and see a wolf kind of an animal. There are apparently many different variations especially more to the south and it is a common beast that has survived and adapted well to all kinds of environments.

Of course, it isn’t the strongest in almost any, but it is strong over all usually. This one is alone though, and its fur is dirty black. I remember this well because wolves were an interesting topic, I had fun learning about. They usually hunt in groups but there are exceptions and this scavenger wolf is one of them. It wanders around looking for corpses to eat.

With its sharp nose and keen senses, it can easily find a corpse and then eat what it can while it is safe for it to be near it.

I can easily kill it if it comes to me. Even easier now that I have my sharpened feathers but yes, all I need is for it to come closer to me. I grab my dagger tightly behind my back and just look at the wolf that is still growling at me.

Is it going to attack or not? Why is it not moving? Is it scared of me? It shouldn’t be right?

Ooh it stepped on step closer. How exciting, oh the wolf seems startled by something. and it isn’t moving anymore. I wonder what happened.

Okay it looks fierce again and it started growling again. It sounds even louder than before now. It is stepping close even faster as well. It is almost at the water. I can’t wait to kill it.

One more step and it will be in the water, then I can even jump down from the flying creature and stab it with my dagger.

Oh, the wolf stopped moving while his paw was in midair. Its head is looking to the side as well. It is frozen solid. I wonder if I should just jump at it myself. Or maybe take out a throwing feather?

Better not to move right now. It seems so jumpy. Ah. It suddenly just started running full speed to the opposite direction of where it was looking at. That was weird. Maybe it sensed something dangerous coming this way?

Maybe I should start running as well?

Or do I stay here and see what happens?

Chapter twenty-three. Chapter twenty-five.